schardynfreude | cancry inbox

[ RING RING DAD WE FUCKED IT UP ]

[THIS THING CAN MAKE CALLS??? jk jk]

Ah, hello...?

Chiron—! [ she says his name the same way that a child would cry out for their father. ] W-where are you right now? Prehnite is looking for everyone, but...!

[ it's easy to hear from her voice that she's crying, but more than that, she sounds shaken. ]

[He bolts to his feet, alarmed.] Mona, take a deep breath for me. We can get on the text and make sure everyone is gathered--where are you? Are you all right?

[ she takes a breath as she's told, but it's the jagged, hitching breath of someone who can't put a stop to their sobbing, can't bring themselves under control. ]

Gerda— Gerda took our offer, but she... there are things she didn't remember. When she became an Executor, she remembered, and she ran away, and it's— awful...!

I'm coming to you. You're down on her level, yes? Don't go anywhere. I'll stay on the phone, all right? Is Rei with you, the others?

Rei is with me, but— Sword, Veil, and Medic are chasing Gerda, and Prehnite went ahead to find everyone else—

[ she stops running now, and instead tries to catch her breath. she'll look for somewhere to wait for him in a moment. right now, she cradles the phone and clings to the comfort of Chiron's voice. ]

Chiron... She was a Revenant, once.

[ it's not said in disgust, or condemnation. it's a deep, sympathetic sadness. ]

[That's fine, because he'll take up the running.] Was she? Well. Hopefully this means we don't have to fight her in some monstrous form-- [She did run off, so, he has no idea what that means. Bright sides, though, bright sides.] Is she--an Executor now?

I don't know... I don't know if it worked, or if something else happened to her. She ran as soon as Rei made the deal with her, but that... definitely could have just been the memories.

... The things she remembered, they... [ she's silent for a moment, struggling. ] ... If it were me, I— I don't know if I could live with...

They aren't yours. It isn't you.

[The nice thing about long having since realized he doesn't need to breathe is that he doesn't need to be breathlessly panting, but still, there's a slight wheeze of effort to his words. Don't worry, he's gonna get on a train and not run all the way down all those stairs. Fuck that noise frankly.]

Mona, I...there are things that happen in our memories, things that we will come to regret, things we will be horrified by. And then we have to make a decision on what that means for us. She might simply need time to figure herself out. Not everyone wants to have a nervous breakdown in front of others.

What you experienced was awful. [He has to assume. Else she wouldn't be so terrified and so beside herself.] But no matter what you saw, it isn't yours. It is not yours to deal with or to decide on. You'll have to manage it, but none of it was you.

[ ... ahhh. that's what it is. the things she felt in those memories were horrifying, yes, and she experienced them as if they were her own, but they aren't hers. and she does know that much, in a detached way that doesn't diminish the horror of it. the real problem is that — she saw those things, felt all of that, and there isn't anything she can do about it.

it isn't hers to deal with. it's Gerda's, alone, and Mona can't see how she could possibly even help her. it's so much more terrible because she's felt it, but all she can do is let go of it and move on, all the while knowing what it is that Gerda has to confront.

Mona's next breath is a shuddering exhale, but — she seems to be calming down, somewhat. ]

... You're right. I'm sorry. It was just— [ she audibly retches. ] —I'm sorry.

No need to be sorry. You still know about it, still experienced it. It won't be easy to just ignore.

But...now that you know, you're all better equipped to help. She may not want to confront it or speak of it. Knowing what she was, she may end up reverting back into something of a monster. But you know.

[He's reminded briefly of Esme and the terrible things she did. How he and Phoenix had decided not to share it, until Chiron did, with everyone, the entire layer. And yet, it's not the same caliber.]

I won't ask what precisely you saw. [No need to make Mona feel worse as she's calming.] Did anything else happen, before Rei offered to make her an Executor?

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